Updated: Jul 31, 2019
I would like to say that I am horrified, yet not surprised at the amount of people doing this that have no idea of what it is actually about, therefore they are denying their sub/slave the fulfilling satisfaction that their service can bring once in a long term financially dominating relationship. I say relationship because every D/s have a relationship with the potential to grow into a very deep bond.
Findom is not demanding money and thinking your “paypigs” are losers. Some sub’s kink is humiliation but then taking money for humiliating them is not findom, it is them paying for a humiliation service and for them to enjoy it, and you to deliver the best session, you need to know what makes them tick and why.
Findom is a submissive wishing to have you control their finances and their spending. You look at how much they earn and where and how they spend it. There are basic needs and living costs that are what they are and can’t be adjusted but you decide they can afford to tribute you a certain amount by making sacrifices to save money for you. There are many more parts of this, you can make them buy second-hand clothes, put them on a diet of cheaper food, give them a minimal amount when they have planned to go out, all working towards being able to submit and serve you.
Findom is relative to people’s personal situation. Someone who has disposable income and can easily afford to tribute you £500 without it affecting their standard of living is not being financially dominated, if you don’t know what you are doing they are sometimes subtly dominating you because they are paying you something that means little cost to them to get you to provide a service to them. If you have shaken or oiled your ass to the camera for them you haven’t got their money because you’re in charge, they paid you to get you to do that, therefore it is NOT findom.
The world of BDSM is a multi-faceted, maze of potential emotional, physical and psychological connections where through trust we explore our limits and what gives us pleasure. I am lucky to live in a country where we are free to express ourselves in this way with out reprimand, as more people give into their kinks the scene becomes safer, more mainstream and accepted. Until then if you are going to get into the scene, learn about it, do your research and stop giving it a bad name by misusing the term to try and make a quick buck!